It was the best of times; it was the worst of times
Looking at my junior college yearbook never fails to make me laugh. Class photos are split into groups. I was in a photo with 3 other male classmates. We weren't smiling at all, and the contrast between the 4 of us and the other cheerful faces lit for the camera is absolutely delightful.
I was hugely alone those 2 years: I was the only male taking the particular subject combination I took, so I had many breaks all to myself. I would on occasion join 3 of the other male classmates for a meal when our breaks coincided, but they were largely simple, silent affairs. That's partly because we had few things in common, but also because we were quiet people by nature. I have no complaints: I enjoyed the peaceful lazy-afternoon meals we had at the nearby coffeeshops, away from the school where everyone else were.
Most of my relationships during this period were one-to-one. There were no class things, no groups. I built a number of meaningful relationships with individuals, many of them outside my class. And I still remember the times we had our meals outside school. A particular history lecturer would always read from his slides word for word; I remember skipping his lectures to have brunch with a person every week.
Most of these relationships are gone. Some regrettably so, others less so. Why are they gone? As with the uniqueness of each individual the reason for each case is unique. There is but one common factor: everyone has moved on in life. That's inevitable. Junior college gave a pressure for us to be together; more often than not, we were together because it was an alternative to sticking with our classes. We've lost that pressure, and we've either failed to replace it or failed to acknowledge we needed to move on.
In a few years time it would be 10 years since I left junior college. I think, then, that I need to meet a few people.
I was hugely alone those 2 years: I was the only male taking the particular subject combination I took, so I had many breaks all to myself. I would on occasion join 3 of the other male classmates for a meal when our breaks coincided, but they were largely simple, silent affairs. That's partly because we had few things in common, but also because we were quiet people by nature. I have no complaints: I enjoyed the peaceful lazy-afternoon meals we had at the nearby coffeeshops, away from the school where everyone else were.
Most of my relationships during this period were one-to-one. There were no class things, no groups. I built a number of meaningful relationships with individuals, many of them outside my class. And I still remember the times we had our meals outside school. A particular history lecturer would always read from his slides word for word; I remember skipping his lectures to have brunch with a person every week.
Most of these relationships are gone. Some regrettably so, others less so. Why are they gone? As with the uniqueness of each individual the reason for each case is unique. There is but one common factor: everyone has moved on in life. That's inevitable. Junior college gave a pressure for us to be together; more often than not, we were together because it was an alternative to sticking with our classes. We've lost that pressure, and we've either failed to replace it or failed to acknowledge we needed to move on.
In a few years time it would be 10 years since I left junior college. I think, then, that I need to meet a few people.
1 Comments:
Different stages would have different types of friends - social friends. How many life-long friends or 知己 we can meet and have in life?
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