Seashells (II)
I've got a friend who takes nautical studies in a poly and he plans to be a sailor in the future. As part of his 1.5 year attatchment program he's currently aboard a ship enjoying a sailor's life, and unless I am much mistaken he's already got a job with a shipping company. The path to his dream is set on smooth waters. Another friend of mine is going to arizona, us, next year, her dream to do architecture overseas crystalised into reality. For any amount of these people around, there is a greater amount of us who are struggling merely to continue dreaming.
I used a trump card today, one of the few I've got left. Didnt want to use it, really, because I didnt want any more debate over my life plans, it being so close to the final exams and everything. But circumstances were favourable, and I decided to go for it.
I paid a visit to the prinicipal. She remembered me, and for the umpteenth time she welcomed me. I asked if she was free, and she said yes she was, and she said u want to talk?, and I replied yes I want to, and we talked for an hour.
The first issue I brought up--it was the primary issue I had on my agenda-- was that of academic sponsorship. I told her I need money to go overseas, and I asked if the school's affiliated bodies would be so kind as to offer students money to do so, and she said no the school's affiliated bodies have stopped doing that kind of thing a few years ago. It wasnt a devestating blow of course, because at this stage Im more concerned over the grades I need to get, and in any case I've still got many doors open to me. Her advice to me was to get a place in NUS, then do well and hopefully get an overseas postgraduate scholarship, since I am generally bond-averse to any other kinds of scholarships that would necessarily delay my career track in academia.
The bad thing about such a course is, of course, the lack of exposure. The prospect of spending the better part of my young adult life in the rather unappealing corridors of NUS also depresses me somewhat. The good points, however, are substantial: food, friends, places, and heck, can even try my hand at the local arts scene, if only at a very elementary level. These things definitely warrant an entry all to themselves, and I'll get it up another time.
These things aside, we talked about a range of issues that covered the span of life, including itself. She told me how she met her husband, she told me how girls in university very frequently abandoned their boyfriend in army (they found them immature after getting to know the uni guys, she told me; lol), she told me she's led a fulfilling life, and she's going to lead a fulfilling life by reading and traveling, she told me (in chinese) to always compare to those worse off than yourself, she told me that satisfaction is happiness, and satisfaction is easily achieved even if happiness per se is not.
Any discussion of this sort would never fail to touch on the meaning of life. I asked her what is there in life if we take nothing from it upon death. And she gave the most simplest, and most satisfactory I've found from many individuals to date: you live to impact others. And she told me thats what she's been doing all her life, as a teacher, as a principal, as a person.
The conversation, in many ways, re-ignited that part in me that calls for personal fulfilment above individual self-worth. From the period in june right to this very day I've been meeting up with friends from all over to either study, or to take a break from studies. (Incidentally this could perhaps account for my lacklustre performance, though then again one could always argue that my results were never lusty in the first place) In fact it strikes me as ironical that Ive met some of them more times in this period of examinations than periods of time in the past.
Dreams belong to that open sea we always look at but never swim in. Friends, as well as the simple pleasures of music, coffee, the tv, are the seashells in our life, and by the way Im going to pay a visit to the principal of this school years down the road.
I used a trump card today, one of the few I've got left. Didnt want to use it, really, because I didnt want any more debate over my life plans, it being so close to the final exams and everything. But circumstances were favourable, and I decided to go for it.
I paid a visit to the prinicipal. She remembered me, and for the umpteenth time she welcomed me. I asked if she was free, and she said yes she was, and she said u want to talk?, and I replied yes I want to, and we talked for an hour.
The first issue I brought up--it was the primary issue I had on my agenda-- was that of academic sponsorship. I told her I need money to go overseas, and I asked if the school's affiliated bodies would be so kind as to offer students money to do so, and she said no the school's affiliated bodies have stopped doing that kind of thing a few years ago. It wasnt a devestating blow of course, because at this stage Im more concerned over the grades I need to get, and in any case I've still got many doors open to me. Her advice to me was to get a place in NUS, then do well and hopefully get an overseas postgraduate scholarship, since I am generally bond-averse to any other kinds of scholarships that would necessarily delay my career track in academia.
The bad thing about such a course is, of course, the lack of exposure. The prospect of spending the better part of my young adult life in the rather unappealing corridors of NUS also depresses me somewhat. The good points, however, are substantial: food, friends, places, and heck, can even try my hand at the local arts scene, if only at a very elementary level. These things definitely warrant an entry all to themselves, and I'll get it up another time.
These things aside, we talked about a range of issues that covered the span of life, including itself. She told me how she met her husband, she told me how girls in university very frequently abandoned their boyfriend in army (they found them immature after getting to know the uni guys, she told me; lol), she told me she's led a fulfilling life, and she's going to lead a fulfilling life by reading and traveling, she told me (in chinese) to always compare to those worse off than yourself, she told me that satisfaction is happiness, and satisfaction is easily achieved even if happiness per se is not.
Any discussion of this sort would never fail to touch on the meaning of life. I asked her what is there in life if we take nothing from it upon death. And she gave the most simplest, and most satisfactory I've found from many individuals to date: you live to impact others. And she told me thats what she's been doing all her life, as a teacher, as a principal, as a person.
The conversation, in many ways, re-ignited that part in me that calls for personal fulfilment above individual self-worth. From the period in june right to this very day I've been meeting up with friends from all over to either study, or to take a break from studies. (Incidentally this could perhaps account for my lacklustre performance, though then again one could always argue that my results were never lusty in the first place) In fact it strikes me as ironical that Ive met some of them more times in this period of examinations than periods of time in the past.
Dreams belong to that open sea we always look at but never swim in. Friends, as well as the simple pleasures of music, coffee, the tv, are the seashells in our life, and by the way Im going to pay a visit to the principal of this school years down the road.
2 Comments:
Why can't you swim in the sea? Cut out the part about killer whales please.
I wish my principal could be like yours. 1 month plus more, and we can live life The Way liao.
I'm really happy that she could impart to you well what I was trying to convince you of a few months back. Not because 'I told you so', but more because I'm glad for the fact that we both share the same great meaning in life. :))
yt
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