Hmm

I realize I had forgotten to post a photo of my Level 1 meal, so here it is. Simple vegetables fried in garlic and some sauce, chicken pieces marinated in garlic and some sauce, fried eggs, ham and rice bought from a store. Carbonated water for drinks and fruits and ice-cream for dessert, all store-purchased of course.

And my room, or a large part of it:

I miss those days being enveloped in music as I lie on my bed. I remember not turning on the heater in the first 2 weeks of my stay. It grew very cold, and it was very nice. I curled myself up tightly to sleep every night, and getting out of the blanket and warmth of my bed was usually a 30-minute affair. Eventually I took to turning on the heater as the cold was causing me to sleep more than 10 hours a day, which was taking time away from other things I wanted to do.

Alright. School has started again. My last semester. Will also be my toughest one, by a far, far margin: I haven't started writing on my thesis (30,000 words), I will have to tutor 3 classes (50% more than my past 2 semesters), and chances are I would get to take German 4, where I will have to qualify for intermediate-level certification. I guess it's befitting for a final showdown.  

According to this test, I'm a INTP. I've done it twice over a course of weeks, and I spoke to a professional counselor about it, as other free tests were giving me varying results and I was curious to get to the heart of the matter. The counselor (whom I had engaged for free, as part of the privilege of being a NUS student) gave me a better idea of what the letters represent. All 3 measures - the 2 tests and the session - point me to an INTP.

Here's an interpretation of what it means to be a INTP: link. There's likely to be a gap in what can be inferred from the test and what is written there - you can read up on Keirsey's theory yourself. Whatever the controversies and problems though, I find that the writeup suits me well. Even better: I thought that it gives me an (accurate) insight into myself. Or, more precisely: it makes salient the idea that I value thought and knowledge a lot. I find that I very instinctively go "mm, that's really good" when I ask of people and find that they're studying or dabbling in highly theoretical fields. Good is the word I use. Not interesting, not intriguing, not fascinating. It's good, plain and simple.

I do find that my most comfortable position, my most natural instinct, is to tease out inconsistencies in positions. This is my most natural, predominant mode of conversation with people, and most times I operate in that mode without regard for anyone else's thoughts and feelings. This has indeed led to, as the writeup says, "an uncomfortable experience for many". It's very abrasive, very cold, and I think only another who has a similar character type as me (whether it be 'INTP' or anything else is not my concern here) can really appreciate what it feels like and thus really appreciate that I'm not trying to be abrasive and I'm not trying to be cold. Similarly, I don't think I can ever grasp how it feels like to be a person predominantly looking to be at peace with others, predominantly looking for harmony, predominantly looking to avoid conflicts and creating happiness.

That people approach conversations and interactions differently is something that hasn't been salient to me till now, thanks to the writeup. This is actually quite important for me, because it could help prevent unnecessary conflicts in the future. Likewise, it would be good if I could just send a copy of such a writeup of my personality to people who interact with me, so that they better understand some of the things I do and things I say.

Whoa. Do we really need to appeal to personality types in order to understand, tolerate and interact with each other better? Isn't the key to better interaction just to interact more and have an open mindset, have regular open communication, etc? I think we do. I'm honestly quite doubtful that my closest friends actually have a good enough sense of i) how much I value thought and knowledge and ii) how such a valuation causes or influences - that is, can help explain - some of my behavior. Sending such a writeup makes things easier. On my side, if one were to tell me that he did/said X because he wants to, for example, keep the peace, I would ask: why do you bother keeping the peace? He might reply: I don't know. I just like it that way. But I would be very unsatisfied with that. I would ask: So why do you like it that way? And one way out of here is just to appeal to personality types. Just saying: "Well, it's just my personality" isn't going to do for me though. I would ask you to do a personality test.  

In any case, whatever the methodological issues are, I do hope the writeup is true for me on 1 thing: that I am able to concentrate better than any other type. I'm going to need that concentration in the coming months.