On the misunderstanding of comfort zone
One of my pet peeves of recent times is people saying, I want to do this, or we should be doing this, because we should get out of our comfort zone. Now, this is a source of annoyance to me because these people usually don't seem to understand the terms of getting out of one's comfort zone. On top of that, the phrase 'getting out of our comfort zone' is increasingly used against that lifestyle which is perceived as lazy, inactive, backward and generally unbecoming.
Let us first address the latter issue. When a person tells another person, in jest or in seriousness, that he shouldn't keep himself indoors and be a couch potato, and that he should venture out to experience new things, it seems to be that this person is thinking that being a couch potato is a detrimental thing to be, and that venturing out is the antithesis to that. To this I must say, that this is really a difference of perspective and not a difference of quality living. People usually choose the lifestyle that is most comfortable to them. By and large this means lazing about at home. To the outdoor person, however, being outdoors is their way of being comfortable. To say that being indoors is comfortable and being outside is out of that comfort zone, is thus a false relation, for it could equally be that being outdoors is comfortable, insofar as it is in line with the person's natural preference, and that being indoors is outside of that comfort zone.
There is no way of establishing which manner of looking at things is the ideal manner, and when an outdoors person tells an indoor person to get out of his comfort zone, he really is telling the person to get into his. To this the indoor person can equally reply: "I don't see why I should be getting out of my comfort zone when you are still in yours. If you recommend that I get out of mine you really should get out of yours too. In your case, that means leading a normal, peaceful and largely sedentary lifestyle. Instead of going rock climbing every weekend, why don't you get out of your comfort zone and try watching tv all day?"
It seems that, in everyday conversation, and even in newspaper articles and journal writings (especially those travel-related ones), we seem to associate getting out of a comfort zone with doing things we don't usually do. So, for example, going trekking overseas, trying bungee-jumping and encouraging people to do volunteer work always come attached with the statement, get out of your comfort zone. The irony of this is self-evident when I watched a Lonely Planet advertisement on Arts Central recently. In it a female said that she went parachuting because it is out of her comfort zone; a few seconds later the clip showed her after a jump with a wide grin and saying, "Wow that was awesome." I personally find it hard to see how enjoying one's self is getting out of one's comfort zone. The very essence of getting out of a comfort zone should preclude all forms of enjoyment, excitement, and other positive feelings. In the same vein, doing volunteer work is NOT getting out of one's comfort zone, because having a warm, glowing feeling of benevolence and accomplishment in one's heart is in effect the feeling of comfort.
Now, it seems that we live in a society sufficiently advanced enough to take many things in life for granted. As a result, we tend to mistake things for being out of our comfort zone when they really are still within. For example, going to a foreign country and attempting to survive on a shoestring budget tends to be associated with getting out of one's comfort zone, when you're really still going to live under a roof and be able to wash your clothes. Sure, you're probably going to feel uncomfortable without many of the usual material comforts by your side, but feeling uncomfortable isn't the only measure of whether one is outside one's comfort zone. (If it were, then I can get out of my comfort zone inside my comfort zone already, by sleeping on the floor instead of my bed, for example). To really be out of the comfort zone, one has to go below the 'essential comforts'. Manufactured clothing is an essential comfort. So is water from the tap. So is a backpack. So is money. It goes beyond the tangible too. A friend once commented that being understood is a luxury of life. I would take it further and say human communication is a bare essential. There are so many things around us that are essential comforts, and you really aren't doing justice to the phrase 'getting out of my comfort zone' if they still remain with you.
So, to summarise, going mountain climbing is not getting out of one's comfort zone, because it could be in one's natural preference to like the outdoors; the activity could be a thrilling experience that you enjoy; and you are going to purchase climbing gear from a store anyway. Sweating, doing new things, pushing the limits, being disciplined, doing voluntary work, are all not by themselves truly getting out of the comfort zone. To think we get out of our comfort zone when we don't really just betrays a presumptive attitude in ourselves when what we really were seeking was fun, leisure, the pleasure and thrill of new experiences, and the sweet feeling of self-sacrifice.
I believe it is extremely hard to get out of one's comfort zone, in the true sense of the term. I also believe that there really is very little point in doing so, which is why I can usually be found in mine. The point of having a comfort zone is to stay in it, not to stay outside it. I don't need to sleep on the floor to appreciate the comfort of my bed. I already do like my bed, and I accomplished that not by sleeping on the floor but by lying on the bed and thinking: Ah, this is so comfortable.
Let us first address the latter issue. When a person tells another person, in jest or in seriousness, that he shouldn't keep himself indoors and be a couch potato, and that he should venture out to experience new things, it seems to be that this person is thinking that being a couch potato is a detrimental thing to be, and that venturing out is the antithesis to that. To this I must say, that this is really a difference of perspective and not a difference of quality living. People usually choose the lifestyle that is most comfortable to them. By and large this means lazing about at home. To the outdoor person, however, being outdoors is their way of being comfortable. To say that being indoors is comfortable and being outside is out of that comfort zone, is thus a false relation, for it could equally be that being outdoors is comfortable, insofar as it is in line with the person's natural preference, and that being indoors is outside of that comfort zone.
There is no way of establishing which manner of looking at things is the ideal manner, and when an outdoors person tells an indoor person to get out of his comfort zone, he really is telling the person to get into his. To this the indoor person can equally reply: "I don't see why I should be getting out of my comfort zone when you are still in yours. If you recommend that I get out of mine you really should get out of yours too. In your case, that means leading a normal, peaceful and largely sedentary lifestyle. Instead of going rock climbing every weekend, why don't you get out of your comfort zone and try watching tv all day?"
It seems that, in everyday conversation, and even in newspaper articles and journal writings (especially those travel-related ones), we seem to associate getting out of a comfort zone with doing things we don't usually do. So, for example, going trekking overseas, trying bungee-jumping and encouraging people to do volunteer work always come attached with the statement, get out of your comfort zone. The irony of this is self-evident when I watched a Lonely Planet advertisement on Arts Central recently. In it a female said that she went parachuting because it is out of her comfort zone; a few seconds later the clip showed her after a jump with a wide grin and saying, "Wow that was awesome." I personally find it hard to see how enjoying one's self is getting out of one's comfort zone. The very essence of getting out of a comfort zone should preclude all forms of enjoyment, excitement, and other positive feelings. In the same vein, doing volunteer work is NOT getting out of one's comfort zone, because having a warm, glowing feeling of benevolence and accomplishment in one's heart is in effect the feeling of comfort.
Now, it seems that we live in a society sufficiently advanced enough to take many things in life for granted. As a result, we tend to mistake things for being out of our comfort zone when they really are still within. For example, going to a foreign country and attempting to survive on a shoestring budget tends to be associated with getting out of one's comfort zone, when you're really still going to live under a roof and be able to wash your clothes. Sure, you're probably going to feel uncomfortable without many of the usual material comforts by your side, but feeling uncomfortable isn't the only measure of whether one is outside one's comfort zone. (If it were, then I can get out of my comfort zone inside my comfort zone already, by sleeping on the floor instead of my bed, for example). To really be out of the comfort zone, one has to go below the 'essential comforts'. Manufactured clothing is an essential comfort. So is water from the tap. So is a backpack. So is money. It goes beyond the tangible too. A friend once commented that being understood is a luxury of life. I would take it further and say human communication is a bare essential. There are so many things around us that are essential comforts, and you really aren't doing justice to the phrase 'getting out of my comfort zone' if they still remain with you.
So, to summarise, going mountain climbing is not getting out of one's comfort zone, because it could be in one's natural preference to like the outdoors; the activity could be a thrilling experience that you enjoy; and you are going to purchase climbing gear from a store anyway. Sweating, doing new things, pushing the limits, being disciplined, doing voluntary work, are all not by themselves truly getting out of the comfort zone. To think we get out of our comfort zone when we don't really just betrays a presumptive attitude in ourselves when what we really were seeking was fun, leisure, the pleasure and thrill of new experiences, and the sweet feeling of self-sacrifice.
I believe it is extremely hard to get out of one's comfort zone, in the true sense of the term. I also believe that there really is very little point in doing so, which is why I can usually be found in mine. The point of having a comfort zone is to stay in it, not to stay outside it. I don't need to sleep on the floor to appreciate the comfort of my bed. I already do like my bed, and I accomplished that not by sleeping on the floor but by lying on the bed and thinking: Ah, this is so comfortable.
13 Comments:
the real meaning of "out of comfort zone" is one needs to adjust and adapt to the environment constantly in order to survive, enjoy, etc. to do this, one needs courage, and through the process, one will build up confidence and gain experience whatever the outcome is as lessons can be drawn for future use.
ll
I never knew I would come to love pineapples when one day as a kid I just thought to hell with it those yellow chunks look terribly suspicious but cant really do no harm since it came in a can.
yeh I never knew, and funny how I knew wasnt it?
i draw the line at chilli.
I think the term is just an excuse for people to justify themselves doing dangerous/unusual stuffs for no (rational) reason except to feel the sense of adventure. I think people should just be honest and say that they are pursuing the adrenaline/adventure than to appear noble/righteous by saying they are 'venturing out of their comfort zone'.
Aquila
Continuing our conversation earlier in the day, I don't need to be a construction worker to be able appreciate the tranquility of lying down on a patch of green grass and thinking to myself what a wonderful day it is. I can already appreciate it even without having first gone through all the back-breaking hard work.
I pity those construction workers.
we r always out of comfort zone since born....jus like our games level fr 1 2 9......as we always like 2 challange ourself n like new things....oni when we get older, then we realise.....
....life is not a bed of roses, but only if one is not prepared to make the necessary adjustments to adapt. If one works hard and stays positive, we are always out of our comfort zone...
I never knew how much I would come to love swedish pop stuff if I had not irrationally picked up The Alternative Compilation 2 from HMV all those years ago, and discovered The Concretes from there.
Good to see your positive views to trying out things 'out of your comfort zones'. Good to try the army also?
Aquila
u mean the new uniform....
I think this is a very interesting observation. I never really thought of this.
Sometimes I always dreamt of being able to do a bungee jump to "get out of my comfort zone"...
On second thought, the enjoyment of it may be in comfort after all.
I think you are focusing too much on the phrase itself rather than the meaning it was meant to convey.
Going by your concept of a "comfort zone", it would be impossible to "get out of a comfort zone" because simply deriving any form of satisfaction from the act would betray the phrase. I say this because you state in your post that creating inconvenience for yourself isn't sufficient reason to be "getting out of your comfort zone". Anything that someone does has some personal motivation behind it. Even when you give up your life for another person, you derive satisfaction from the act of saving another person. As such, even if I did perform an act that I completely disliked to "get out of my comfort zone", it would still prove invalid because I still gain a sense of achievement from doing it.
I would also like to say that doing volunteer work does not necessarily entail a warm and fuzzy feeling. It pertains to different individuals to have that feeling. Take me, for example, I am a selfish ass that does not believe in helping people you don't care for. Having said that, I would not be happy simply because I helped a old lady cross a road.
Yes, and I will qualify the argument a little by adding: any activity done with the main intention of getting something positive for yourself is not getting out of your comfort zone.
Under this account, it is possible to get out of one's comfort zone. For example, I may volunteer to be imprisoned because I want to experience the miserable life of a prisoner. The acquisition of this experience shouldn't be deemed 'positive' - I don't think many would hold that position. Instead, the very notion of the pursuit of the miserable life of a prisoner is the focus here, not the satisfaction one gets in fulfilling that experience.
(It still fails to pass the material argument of comfort zone though, because being in a prison means...a bed, food, clothes, shower..etc, which is precisely why I maintain it's incresingly hard to truly get out of one's comfort zone today)
On the other hand, tt's also very easy to get out of one's comfort zone by being forced to do things you don't like to do. For example, being thrown naked into the wilderness against your own will.
Hmm, I see. Good point. I would like to add that the idea of "getting out of your comfort zone" does not mean that you have shed all luxuries of our current life. For example, uou could sell your bed and sleep on the floor, I think that would still be considered "getting out of your comfort zone" albeit being just a very small step out.
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