Jerry/ In Black or White
Jerry the Cockroach
Jerry the cockroach found he couldn’t fit into his community. This was because the cockroach community he lived in were advocates of war against the Other Inhabitants of the house, namely giant-sized bi-pedal creatures. Being the fanatical bunch they were, they didn’t look too kindly upon cockroaches not supportive of their cause, and generally treated them as outcasts.
Jerry himself was a pacifist. He didn’t like what the other cockroaches were doing, which included spreading germs in the kitchen, appearing in the bathroom when their enemies were bathing, and tickling their toes when they were asleep. He frequently wondered why the two species couldn’t co-exist on peaceful terms.
“Co-exist!? On peaceful terms!?” Was his parents’ response when he once approached them about it. His mother then carried on to say, “Jerry are you out of your mind?”, and his father, “Mention that once more and I will throw you into the fan and never look back!” Jerry never talked about that issue ever since. He kept his broodings to himself and thought of the day he would run away from home and never look back.
That day finally came when he spotted the daytime sentry dozing off. The rest of his family – and indeed the entire cockroach community – were fast asleep, and hurriedly in as much pace he could muster, ran out from behind the bed to open space, giving the sentry, who was asleep in the middle of the dark area under the bed, a wide berth.
It wasn’t until evening when he thought of what he would do. It took him that long to come to the decision, because it was a brave thing he was about to do. For, you see, Jerry had decided to approach the Other Inhabitants, and attempt to reconcile any differences between the two species. In other words, he was going to end the war.
He set off to make himself look presentable, as all diplomats must be. He took a shower by the kitchen tap, making sure his shell looked a shiny color and his feelers and legs were all clean.
And he presented himself during the family’s TV time, where they were all gathered. Making an appearance on the top of the TV, he gave a wide smile. Before he could utter a word though, the family scattered. The two daughters were screaming, the wife had gone to hug them, the husband had went to take a wad of rolled-up newspapers, which he presently brought down on Jerry.
Jerry dodged it, but cried out “No! Stop! Listen to me!” amidst more hits. When the father paused to catch his breath, Jerry stood up panting and said, “Stop…Please. I come in pea..” WHAM! The newspaper caught him this time. He saw a sea of red, and as he was brushed off to a dustpan and thrown into a bin, Jerry the cockroach thought how the world would be a better place if everyone could live in perfect harmony.
In Black or White
A man realises he is in a room. The room is empty, and everything is white in color. But if everything is white in color, including the space between objects, then he cannot know that the room is empty. He can only know that everything he sees is white in color, a blanket white. And if that is the case, he cannot realise he is in a room. He can only feel so.
And that is what he feels now. He feels like he is in a room of some sort, basically he feels confined. To test this hypothesis he stands up and walks in a random direction. Tiring. Every step heavy. It took him 5 minutes to walk 5 steps. Or that is what he thought, as he has no sense of time nor space. He could have walked 5000 steps in a space of 5 minutes, or 5 days could have passed in the space of 5 steps. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Everything’s still white.
Everything’s still white, he tells himself. What to do? He tries to recall where he was before he landed up in this sea of whiteness. But all his mind can picture is whiteness. He thinks maybe it is because the whiteness around him is getting into him. So he closes his eyes and lets his mind drift. It works a bit, but all he can see now is blackness. He sits down – the ground feels solid. He thinks of his friends, his family, his car, his wife, his life before he got here.
He recollects very faint images. Very, very faint. He can’t recall the color of his car, he just recalls the shape of it. He can’t recall what his parents looked like, he just recalls their looming presences over him. He cant recall who his friends were, he just recalls empty wine glasses. He cant recall the love he shared with his wife, he just recalls the color of her hair. Did they have a child?
He opens his eyes. Nothing has changed. He closes his eyes. Then opens it again. He closes his eyes. Then opens it again. Nothing has changed. Nothing is changing. What if nothing ever changes in this room? It dawns on him that he is either stuck in a world of perpetual whiteness or in a world of perpetual darkness, and this is when he starts to panic.
***
Above are two very short stories I have written for purposes I shall not elaborate. They are both under 500 words. I've put up a single-question poll here, to find out which story you prefer. If you think both are not good, put neither. Your participation and honesty appreciated.
Jerry the cockroach found he couldn’t fit into his community. This was because the cockroach community he lived in were advocates of war against the Other Inhabitants of the house, namely giant-sized bi-pedal creatures. Being the fanatical bunch they were, they didn’t look too kindly upon cockroaches not supportive of their cause, and generally treated them as outcasts.
Jerry himself was a pacifist. He didn’t like what the other cockroaches were doing, which included spreading germs in the kitchen, appearing in the bathroom when their enemies were bathing, and tickling their toes when they were asleep. He frequently wondered why the two species couldn’t co-exist on peaceful terms.
“Co-exist!? On peaceful terms!?” Was his parents’ response when he once approached them about it. His mother then carried on to say, “Jerry are you out of your mind?”, and his father, “Mention that once more and I will throw you into the fan and never look back!” Jerry never talked about that issue ever since. He kept his broodings to himself and thought of the day he would run away from home and never look back.
That day finally came when he spotted the daytime sentry dozing off. The rest of his family – and indeed the entire cockroach community – were fast asleep, and hurriedly in as much pace he could muster, ran out from behind the bed to open space, giving the sentry, who was asleep in the middle of the dark area under the bed, a wide berth.
It wasn’t until evening when he thought of what he would do. It took him that long to come to the decision, because it was a brave thing he was about to do. For, you see, Jerry had decided to approach the Other Inhabitants, and attempt to reconcile any differences between the two species. In other words, he was going to end the war.
He set off to make himself look presentable, as all diplomats must be. He took a shower by the kitchen tap, making sure his shell looked a shiny color and his feelers and legs were all clean.
And he presented himself during the family’s TV time, where they were all gathered. Making an appearance on the top of the TV, he gave a wide smile. Before he could utter a word though, the family scattered. The two daughters were screaming, the wife had gone to hug them, the husband had went to take a wad of rolled-up newspapers, which he presently brought down on Jerry.
Jerry dodged it, but cried out “No! Stop! Listen to me!” amidst more hits. When the father paused to catch his breath, Jerry stood up panting and said, “Stop…Please. I come in pea..” WHAM! The newspaper caught him this time. He saw a sea of red, and as he was brushed off to a dustpan and thrown into a bin, Jerry the cockroach thought how the world would be a better place if everyone could live in perfect harmony.
In Black or White
A man realises he is in a room. The room is empty, and everything is white in color. But if everything is white in color, including the space between objects, then he cannot know that the room is empty. He can only know that everything he sees is white in color, a blanket white. And if that is the case, he cannot realise he is in a room. He can only feel so.
And that is what he feels now. He feels like he is in a room of some sort, basically he feels confined. To test this hypothesis he stands up and walks in a random direction. Tiring. Every step heavy. It took him 5 minutes to walk 5 steps. Or that is what he thought, as he has no sense of time nor space. He could have walked 5000 steps in a space of 5 minutes, or 5 days could have passed in the space of 5 steps. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Everything’s still white.
Everything’s still white, he tells himself. What to do? He tries to recall where he was before he landed up in this sea of whiteness. But all his mind can picture is whiteness. He thinks maybe it is because the whiteness around him is getting into him. So he closes his eyes and lets his mind drift. It works a bit, but all he can see now is blackness. He sits down – the ground feels solid. He thinks of his friends, his family, his car, his wife, his life before he got here.
He recollects very faint images. Very, very faint. He can’t recall the color of his car, he just recalls the shape of it. He can’t recall what his parents looked like, he just recalls their looming presences over him. He cant recall who his friends were, he just recalls empty wine glasses. He cant recall the love he shared with his wife, he just recalls the color of her hair. Did they have a child?
He opens his eyes. Nothing has changed. He closes his eyes. Then opens it again. He closes his eyes. Then opens it again. Nothing has changed. Nothing is changing. What if nothing ever changes in this room? It dawns on him that he is either stuck in a world of perpetual whiteness or in a world of perpetual darkness, and this is when he starts to panic.
***
Above are two very short stories I have written for purposes I shall not elaborate. They are both under 500 words. I've put up a single-question poll here, to find out which story you prefer. If you think both are not good, put neither. Your participation and honesty appreciated.
8 Comments:
The poll was taking too long to load, and so being impatient as usual I've decided to comment here instead.
The second one.
First one.
"Mention that once more and I will throw you into the fan and never look back!”
"Making an appearance on the top of the TV, he gave a wide smile"
Simply brilliant.
Second one looks promising, but feels a bit rushed. It's as if a big revelation is coming, but it never did.
-Strider
I think both are very good. Maybe it depends on what flavour you are going for/need it for.
The first one is comical, albeit ultimately tragic. It livens one's heart, and make him/her rethink the little things in life (the kind of Black-Adderish humour). The second one is darker, and can really conjure fear if one thinks deeper into the question. Perpetual nothingness burns like hellfire: knowing that, and the fact that it might happen to anyone, or everyone, leaves an uneasy feeling after reading that one tries to shake off.
Aquila
I like the second more. I love stories with dark meanings.
hey what happened to the one where a man finds a whale on a beach?
you usually do better than the first one. To tell the truth it's like a primary school composition with something lifted from a talking animal disney film.
second one is not bad. Writing a bit dicey at times though. Would probably work much better as a playscript because the wordy descriptions get very much in the way.
both.
I think the first one is better. I can imagine it being an animated movie a la bee movie or a bug's life. They have made movies out of ants, bees, but not yet cockroaches though. lol.
second one a bit too cheem I think. and the ending is sorta abrupt.
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