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The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel. -Horace Walpole

Name:
Location: Singapore

Tutor at NUS.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The Milky Way

Music: Train- Drops of Jupiter

Old song, but good song. Wouldnt say its a happy song, but it does leave one feeling nice. The lyrics about the female dont apply but this song always manages to conjure up images of the magnificent bodies in outer space, like the milky way. And for me, since I've always been captured by the vastness and serenity of the universe, listening to this song always makes me feel at peace.

Hello.

You know, when I said life has reached a equilibrium state last time, my guardian angel decided to contradict me—for the better. This post is going to be unusually long.

Ran marginally late on Thursday, decided to bypass the school’s bus stop as a result. Theres a glaring flaw in the system. Latecomers are required to hand over their bus passes and are only able to collect it after 4 (for what reason I cant fathom). That’s so what you know, esp for those who get dismissed at 2 or 3. Anw, I couldn’t be bothered to make the effort to collect the card from the teacher (I waited half an hour the last time I was late, in addition to the time spent between the time of my last lesson to 4; 50 minutes), and so I got myself down to the nearby kopitiam while they made all the announcements, got myself some roti prata and hot milo.

Seriously speaking, I would rather have a zero marked for attendance than to have my name down on the latecomers’ list. That’s another flaw: if the consequences of having a zero for attendance is lesser (especially when you’ve got a tutor who doesn’t care) than the consequences of being noted down on the latecomers’ list (all those cwo), then obviously one would feel more compelled to simply not appear for the first lesson of the day or so—and there would be no tangible penalty at all! It makes the latecomers’ deterrence/punishment system rather ineffective.

Anyway, I found out they locked both back gates after I was done with my unintended breakfast. Reasoned out that if they lock both back gates they would be able to spot latecomers through the front gate (even if this wasn’t the intention they had in mind), so I took the path from the carpark. Simple level zero stuff, wish I could have smth more challenging.

Amusing would be the fact that on that very same day the other 3 guys in my class (no wait, ‘class’…?) and I used that path to break out from economics tutorial. That was, btw, the first time we had a ‘mass’ skip-lesson outing, think the econs teacher not very happy. The back gates were still locked when we were done with lunch, so we hanged about the void deck. Void decks have a peculiar way of seeming very breezy whenever you go into deep thought while walking about around it. Void decks have a peculiar way of seeming like a place of serenity when its in the afternoon and theres no one else around the whole area.

A classmate gave me a minute tutorial on what was termed as the shoelace method sometime during the week. Or was it the shoelace method. And pardon me, but it has nothing to do with the mundane form of a parallelogram. It is a rather..intriuging uh concept, so intricate in appearance that I actually believed the shoelace was put through the skirt! Maybe my tutor should issue more tutorials eh.

Anyway, I have come to realize that a classmate of mine possesses a certain scent about her. I asked some other classmates about it, both male and female, and it appears that this scent is apparent only to me. Now I am aware about this ‘human scent’ thing, but perhaps someone with the relevant biological knowledge would like to shed some scent on it? Anyway think I always like to stand in front of her and tower over her and block her way. Think very fun.

You know the mass dance..the part where the song goes mo-ould..the female motion there is rather nice. Never seen such a sleek, self-contained motion before.

Friday was national day celebrations. And ‘inter-ct’ community *adventure*, which saw me and another guy walking about with a bunch of girls. No wait it should be..which saw a guy walking with a couple other girls walking with a bunch of girls walking with another bunch of girls walking with someone walking alone. Games were intensely boring. My pw mate and I got chosen for some blindfold game, and they seem to like making mountains out of a molehill when all she did was feed me some cream. I shant attempt to go figure whats so !@#$ about that.

Think the class has some little cheer. Think very girlish heheheh.

A mini mini mini mini mini class outing was arranged after the celebrations, think around 6 of them were there. Didn’t turn up because their timing was a bit too awkward—2 30..? (And do what from 11 to 2 30?) Joined some outside friends instead. It’s a start I guess, at least theres something to show after what, 4 months of being together. Pretty certain things would improve; if the male-female divide could be bridged through that outing Im sure the English-chinese divide could be bridged too. Preferably before A levels. Hmmm…

If you go about asking the people around you what they intend to be in the future, you’ll be quite surprised at the multitude of answers. What radiologist, what physiotherapist, dj, psychologist, got some don’t know what Egyptologist too. Its very interesting to see what the people around you would be in the future. Its very interesting trying to discern what you are going to be in the future.

You have got to catch Singapore Idol, its hilarious. Thought the show would be really silly initially, with the judges all trying to imitate their American counterparts and all. But it turned out pretty natural, some of their jokes were genuinely funny, and they were done in genuine Singaporean style. Not so bad after all, quite an entertaining show, nothing more and nothing less.


The 5-day break (inclusive of Friday) was a rather fulfilling one for me. No wait that would be inaccurate. It gave me a sense of being fulfilled—but somehow I am not too sure what was fulfilled.

Friday saw me meeting up with some outside friends. (You might want to note the usage of ‘outside friends’: to be conscious enough to call your closer friends as outside friends would mean that there is the existence of some *nationalistic* identity with your current school. It remains to be seen whether this identity would eventually demarcate your definitions of ‘closer friends’, or indeed, redefine your entire social circle. I feel kind of stupid picking up my own words, but I really do hope you are sensitive to such nuances [be it in overall language or in specific words, or concepts etc..] I occasionally, and sometimes sub-consciously, put in)

Friday saw me meeting up with some outside friends. Very nice to see so many teenagers on the streets, with uniforms of every sort. Always try to start off a holiday or break with some pleasure; that way you are almost certain to be well-orientated for the upcoming days. Go figure. When it comes to matters of such varying nature I cant explain much. But essentially, who ever starts off a relatively long break by not taking a break?

Caught I, Robot. Been long since I last saw such a plain movie. Attempts at provoking thoughts of robot ethics (or is it robotic ethics, somewhere there) and the future were there, be it intentionally or by chance. But those amount to little more than nothing when everything else was rather weak and somewhat dullish.

Sat around at china square, joel joined us for dinner, as well as some dontknowwho (a friend of a friend of my friends). Wait that means to her, Joel must have been a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, and Im not trying to be funny.

Well, nothing much. The rest went off early but Joel and I stayed. And we did have a second meal.

I realized that when one has a good day out, and feels so pleasantly tired that he goes to bed upon reaching home, and has a good night’s rest, the following morning would have one feeling strangely euphoric. One feels a sense of accomplishment and well-being. You could probably say it is one of the most powerful emotions you could possibly experience, this spiritual happiness.

Saturday and Sunday was some chess competition. We didn’t win anything but it was nice, it was nice. One always feel nice when you’ve got 8 other guys walking about with you in foreign territory. It is often the presence of ‘enemies’ that distills group unity. I notice that when one is in a group of guys one feels secure and comfortable. When one is in a group of girls one feels highly vulnerable.

A good buddy, lim youjun was there too, representing AJ. Rather pleasant surprise—especially when he was a board two player and I was too, so if our schools fought it would be a very interesting friendly match.

The psychological pressure in the last round was remarkable. Been long since I last experienced such immense pressure. You see, by that point of time, NJ and AC occupied the top two places with 4, 5 points, nothing could dislodge them. The third place was wide open for the 2nd tier: AJ, TJ, NY, with 3, 3 and 2.5 points respectively (it was team competition btw).

And so when the pairings came out I couldn’t believe how unfair life could be. Yup, you guessed it, Aj got paired with Tj. A win is one point, a draw half a point. I don’t think you need to do much mathematics to realize that we had to win to go up to 3.5 points—and both Aj and Tj had to draw so that we’d all be in a tie. It’d be a totally different situation if they got paired with some other schools; true, theres the increased possibility that both would win, leaving us with totally no chance..But chances of both losing/drawing would be much higher as compared to them facing off each other—someone surely had to lose and someone surely had to win.

Fighting with the mindset that you have to win brings about a lot of pressure on your brain. We won that match, and I remember immediately moving over to the Aj/Tj tables. At that point, they had 1 win 1 loss and 1 draw out of 4 tables (4v4). Which meant I got even more jittery because the match point hinged on that last table (you need 2.5 points to win one match point, and the match point is all tt matters)..Their one win, loss and draw meant that the last table has to draw for both teams to have 3.5 points; a win on either side would place that team in 3rd place.

Watched that last table until my eyes popped out. Aj won in the end, but they didn’t win anything because the poly category was placed together with jc; a poly got the third place. Lol.

Don’t think I need much elaboration when I say team events like this always bonds the team closer. We had dinner at the end of it all. Been long since I last laughed this hard, continuously. As in really undisrupted, my stomach felt like rupturing. It was partly because I pulled a trick off on a macdonalds girl when I was purchasing my meal, a trick which I think I would use every now and then if I want to get the ice-cream cone. They have this 60-second thing right. The trick is simple. Just ask her a question or two to delay her, and there you have your ice cream or apple pie. And the thing was, she moved pretty fast. Haha.

Yup, been a long time. You could probably say you’re a fortunate soul if you ever manage to catch me laughing like that these days; I can only laugh like that in the most comfortable of company, and indeed, I do count myself fortunate if I ever do catch myself laughing like that these days.

Monday saw me out with my pw group for some pw. Went walking around a bit with one of them later on because we both had outings arranged for later (in fact all of us had, but the other two went off earlier) and there was nothing to do in between.

You know, sometimes I envy girls. She brought me to this dontknowwhat shop with all those bright bright, pretty things. And then she bought some uh pretty write-on-it things that looked pretty bright, and then she told me she was going to write some messages on it and pass them to her friends later.

She also told me they were going to watch Singapore idol later together over at a friends. The thing about girls is that its so easy for them to…just get together. They were going to a friends house just to catch a show and to just chill out together! Guys, or rather, my guy friends and I don’t do that? I bet if I were to what, ask some friends, no matter how close they would be, for a evening chill-out at someone’s house, they would probably acquiesce in the end, but they would give very weird looks and ask this and that and all. In fact besides the very, very occasional soccer match and risk match there wouldn’t be any other times we’d go to a friends’ house, which is really a pity.

One should never be too rigid when it comes to just chilling out and soaking in each other’s company, and I guess my guy friends lose out on that point as compared to, from my limited range of view, liberal girls. On a personal note, I tend to fancy simple, mobile get-togethers where you know, 3 or 4 people just meet up on the spur of the moment at a someone’s house or a central location.

Caught The Return with a friend later.

The Return is a rather fine film. For those who watched it, you get enthralled right from the very first scene as the boys jumped from the tower isn’t it. Directing, sequencing, acting, camera angles etc were all superbly done, and it was quite a pity the first *twist* somehow didn’t manage to hit me as much as it really should have; somehow you would have a taste of what it was going to be already, just before the thing happened. Don’t know about you but personally I think they should have developed the father-son relationship a bit more holistically so that the *tragedy* would have left a memorable dent on you.

Oh, but the second so-called twist did hit me at the weakest, when I wasn’t expecting anything of that sort to happen. That part really struck the chords in me, the loss was very astutely felt and it rippled my emotions much, very much.

Shows like this always makes one wonder how it would be like leading an alternate life to the one you’re leading now.

Been a fulfilling break indeed.

Actually I was waiting for a good time to write this in a “treatise” of pleasure, but since the outing on Friday, the first integrated one I have been to since college started, took place it reminded me of this so I thought I’d just mention it now.

Ive been thinking about it for some time now, and I think Im going to invite every single person I know down to a party on my 50th, or 60th birthday. Ive thought about holding it earlier but the main point of this would be to arrange the retirement thing, so too early at age 30 or 40 would be pointless. I’ll write more about it another time, but you know…self-centered as this might sound, its very interesting to see how different friends of mine would interact. For example, Im pretty certain the SR people and possibly some of my present classmates who think Im “weird in a good way” (this stuck in my head quite soundly but I forgot who said it…so maybe you could reveal yourself..) would want to meet the people who survived me for 4 years, and who have shaped me to the way I am now. Similarly, it would be rather interesting to see people like JJ, who is a primary influence on me (both in style and thought), meet up with people who had been equal influences on me in the past. Conversely, Im pretty sure some of you guys would like to meet the girls who have been with me in one way or the other. (For some reason or the other, the qns ‘Eh you still like that [meaning being myself] with the girls isit...then how the girls react..’ is always a staple amongst friends from the past)

Speaking of which, theres still the weddings…(This one inspired from Friends—showing on Mondays 10pm in case you aren’t aware; do watch it, its very funny…There was this episode where Phoebe got married and there was all this thing about the best man)…I was wondering…would I ever be invited to be someone’s Best Man in their wedding..? In fact, would I ever be invited to YOUR wedding, especially when YOU haven’t got my address (that’s why I asked for all your addresses at some point of time dudes! Im not counting on msn, anything could happen when it comes to technology…besides its so stupid to invite someone to a wedding through an email..). More importantly, if I ever do get married, who would I get to be my best man?? Later best man drop the ring in the toilet bowl. Grr later when must say ‘I do’ then down there laughing. Mmm..

But seriously, don’t forget to invite me to your wedding hor, whoever you are, however significant or non-significant our relationship is, because I’ll make it a point to invite all of you to mine, assuming I can pay the bill, assuming I do get married. Mmm…

6 Comments:

Blogger Frozz said...

Somehow, along the way, I've lost the definition of friends....

8:38 PM, August 11, 2004  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Whale, you will definitely get the honours of being my favourite flowerboy, really.

Fang yu

9:27 PM, August 11, 2004  
Blogger nick said...

"I notice that when one is in a group of guys one feels secure and comfortable. When one is in a group of girls one feels highly vulnerable."

true. i feel vulnerable all the time nowadays. twitchy.

8:09 AM, August 12, 2004  
Blogger SirWhale said...

I strongly recommend you subscribe to the Daily Mask, its pretty good and Ive been using it a lot in recent times.

10:49 PM, August 12, 2004  
Blogger Jeanette Chen said...

hello.that 'group of girls' comment is so darned true.imagine spending six years in an all girls environment that mass produces equally hardy female species.

9:02 AM, August 13, 2004  
Blogger Cheryl Chan said...

just popping by to say hi :)

1:23 PM, August 14, 2004  

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