Morale: High

I watched Arsenal win Juventus 2-0 last night, Ive got half a day off today and Lost II is showing tmr. When such things happen I cannot help but reinstate my old habit of laughing in class or, really, anywhere else, for any variable span of time and for any inexplicable reason.

Well, anyway, a week or so has passed and I feel qualified enough to declare that Ive just been given a new life. Being able to book out every day translates into approximately 3 hours of free time every day, and with no obligations (academic or otherwise) or worries to attend to at this stage, that amount of free time easily means pure bliss every day.

I've generally divided these 3 hours into 2 portions: 1 portion for checking email and surfing the net and playing Age of Empires III, another for reading books and magazines. It's curious--and quite worrying-- how few people here in Singapore are catching up with the game, they being either too caught up with DOTA or too caught up in the army. Please, if you fall into the former category, get away from that grotesque investment and start investing in age of empires III, tis what you call a fast-paced strategy game.

It gets quite lonely playing alone on weekdays though, with all of my allies staying-in in their respective camps. Losing quite a bit (risen to the ranks of Lt-colonel, though, but cant seem to get an anchor down there, nor am I able to push my winning % up a bit to 75), since Im too used to being a cavalry guy, both in the game and in life, which is incidentally why I support Arsenal, with all its connotations of speed. Never seem to be able to muster the patience to micromanage infrantry and artillery, though Im learning now through the hard way of losing. Well anyway, thats that.

Curiously enough my lifestyle has come to resemble my primary school lifestyle. Wake up at 6, have my father fetch me (he hasnt been doing so for the past 6 years) to my school, attend morning parade, which, of course, reminds me of flag raising every morning in the past, go for classes, have 2 tea breaks and a 1-hr lunch break in between, have evening parade (flag lowering), dinner, rest and recreation, sleep at 10, sometimes 11 if I need more recreation than sleep. And it feels good, really, because Im having block sleep rather than fragmented sleep, the system which got me through upper sec and junior college, and block sleep is giving me a multiplier effect on my productivity and overall attitude to things, which is, in case you havent noticed, why Im so much more sociable these days. In fact I dont drink my tea alone during those breaks, I join the rest just like how I used to in primary school.

And it's great, really, being part of a large group, though sometimes I find they walk too slowly.

It looks like Im undergoing an upswing in life now. While thats good, of course, it's leaving me worried because from experience in primary school things always work in cycles: there would always be a long period of good time, and there surely would come an event which would mess things up in the most terrible ways-- a project, an untimely make-up lesson that would devastate my daily table-tennis schedule (I used to play alot of table-tennis back then, maybe I'd take it up as a recreational sport in the future), girls all flirting with other males, things like that.

Now, 6 years down the road, while reverting back to my primary school way of life, things have changed alot. Things have changed, myself included, and I now find myself laden with the more important concerns in life: where and with whom to have my next dinner with, for example, as well as how to improve my winning % in age of empires III, how to put in the least effort in my vocation and still get away with it, whether I should try to be funny with my insurance agent, things like that.

Till those concerns bog me down significantly though, converting my upswing into a downswing, I think Im going to enjoy life for now.

Thanks

A: How come you're online.
B: How come you're online.
A: Because I've got time.
B: Because I can multitask.
A: Time is more important than being able to multitask.
B: Why compare time with multitasking?
A: Because I've got the time.
B: My question is, so what if time is more important?
A: Oh nothing, just creating some avenues of conversation which you're not obliged to volunteer yourself to, since you've got no time.
B: Pardon me Im on the phone.
A: I thought you could multitask.
B: I need to multitask, even though I know I cant. [Pause] Having good grades or earning big bucks isn’t my ambition nor desire in living. Unfortunately, the stinging irony is such that for wanting to lead a simple, happy and carefree life, I have to actually care about so many irrelevant things before I can possibly ever see a glimpse of such a possibility. I need to multitask. We all need to, toward this end. [Pause] And I need time, even though I know I've got none.

My rifle cleaning kit includes a book

In what I now consider as the first piece of good news this year, I got posted to oeti to become a technician. (Non-local readers should note that I am currently still a 18 yr old student waiting to undergo his undergraduate degree course, and that this vocation which I mentioned is merely a compulsory, 2 yr posting made by the government of my country under its national service [consciption] scheme). Whatever mundane tasks there are waiting for me there, I am—not eternally indebted of course, oh no—but infinitely relieved that I attained a 8-to-5 vocation.

Essentially it means that Ive got quite a spare bit of time for the coming year or so. Of course, I cannot say for sure that this would be perpetually the case—after all, I heard that we do need to go outfield at times, and in any case transportation to and back from the camp would consume a fair bit of time --, but reports I got from various sources regarding this vocation indicate that such an optimistic outlook would not be at the same time an unreasonable one.

The implications of being free every night are substantial. For one, I can now catch tv shows ranging from Lost to the Champions League. For another, I can now spend time with the friends whom I have not been spending enough time with of late. Unfulfilled promises of dinners and unrequitted arrangements of the like would now be, hopefully, a thing of the past. Further, I can now invest time on creating and, eventually, diversifying my financial portfolio. Over and on top of all this I can now spend time building a strong infrastructure in the area of the humanities, the results of which I would hope to post on sister blogs should everything go well. It is high time I devoted myself to the pursuit of various intellectual ends, though such a term would necessarily obscure the emotional engagement such knowledge have and would bring to my person.

The posting, truth be told, comes as quite surprise to me, having no background in science or engineering whatsoever. What I suspect is that I was not posted to a combat unit because I am a potentially unstable individual who has absolutely no inclination to serve his national service term well. Trust me, I absolutely deplore the entire concept and system of national service, and have suitably told my superiors and peers such. In particular, I have expressed such strong sentiments to my platoon commander that I cannot help but feel that he had some doing in getting me a 8 to 5 vocation, though whether it was out of honesty (in filing the report) or out of sympathy for me I cannot know. My profile report, if ever there was such a thing filed on us, would have probably went as such:

REC CHONG BAO SHEN KENNETH

Highly unmotivated to serve National Service. Extent of commitment in carrying out his duties goes only to that level which ensures he is safe from admonishment from his superiors and peers. Often walks around with a dead look in his eyes, except where canteen breaks are given, during which he usually sits away from his mates. Rarely smiles, and the few smiles offered could be interpreted as smiles of convenience, either to get out of trouble or get away from people. Never seen laughing genuinely once in a group, though curiously enough have seen him enjoying some private moments with himself. Is incredibly handsome during those periods.

It should be noted that this individual is highly critical of the military, not just its lifestyle but all aspects of it. Has indicated keen interest to not be a commander consequently, and has indicated that serving the army is an excellent waste of his time, the likes of which, I believe, he wishes to spend creating a literary product no one would understand. Recommand we do not place him in an active unit, for he argues dangerously well on the demerits of national service, and his presence would invarianbly enlighten his peers whom we are subjecting to become excellent thinking soldiers.

This individual has also assured me that, in the event of a war, he would be the first to scuttle ship. Of peculiar note is his excuse, that “the preservation of my personal dignity” is more important than the death of it. His explanation is that, assuming he fights and survives a war, he would live a life far worse than death. This is because, he elaborates, he thinks it a kind of personal betrayal to commit even a single ounce of energy fighting for ideals that have been superimposed on one. Ideals, he believes, are only valid when they come from one’s self; should they stem from an external source the act of fighting mindlessly for that ideal is tantamount to subcontracting your soul to an angel or a god or whatver there is flying in your imagination, and that is utterly unacceptable because that is, to him, no different from making a pact with the devil—for which angel or god would want your soul? The corollary of this is that, as is my point made earlier, we should not send this individiual to an active combat unit lest his peers there become anything less that the excellent thinking soldiers we need to defend our nation.

As a last note, I have observed something strange in the behavior of this individual. He is seen to be always looking at either the sky or at his book, almost as if there is nothing else he can lay his eyes on. Perhaps we should confine him to these activities as that would ideally set him apart from his peers, who would be, of course, carrying out the duties of and in our organization, duties that are undoubtedly far more important than these preoccupations of his, duties which must be carried out, of course, at the expense of everything and everybody else.

0.25% interest/ Update on life

I had a lengthy discussion with two insurance personnel today and I decided to invest in one of their unit trust scheme.

It's pretty exciting stuff of course, not least because the act of investing in unit trusts-- hitherto a term restricted to a bourgeois class of people, at least from my point of view-- marks one as a young adult truly responsible for one's own present and future well-being. It's made even more exciting because I pushed for it. What the insurance people initially recommanded was a low-risk investment with a rate of return of 3%, but I told them hey no, if you want to do things then do things all the way. So they presented me a high-risk investment scheme with a 5-9% rate of return, but I told them hey no, if you want to do things then do things effectively, so I got myself that scheme with a 1:9 ratio of insurance and investment, which was the highest investment ratio they had. Personally I wanted to put 100% of my funds on investment but they didnt offer such a scheme, which is a pity because I dont care much about insurance. Maybe my funds would be put to better use in an investment firm but the costs of sourcing and researching into those is overbearing; besides, Im only investing a portion of my er assests, so there'd be other chances to look into those in the future.

That being said I cannot help but feel insecure for myself. My monthly premium is $100 (you can increase it, of course, and you can dump in lump sums of money as and when you like) and thats $1200 a year. I dont expect to be working over the course of uni, which could take 3-4 years, which means a deduction of $3600-$4800 over that period of studies, and that is, I believe, a large sum of money to any of us non-working 18-24 year-old. This is over and on top of other bill payments I have to my name, namely a magazine subscription as well as aviva insurance. Essentially this means Im going to have to update my bank book more frequently as well as keep some spare cash as spare cash.

***

I met up with a friend earlier on and we went into mos burger for a milkshake. Two jc kids were studying and when they went to get a drink my friend suggested taking down the no-studying sign on the wall and placing it on their table. I got up to do it but sat down again when I saw them coming. Something stopped me, and Im not sure if it's them or my age.

***

Well, so what are my plans for the near future. I've applied for NUS as well as 2 overseas universities and zero scholarships. Corporate scholarships dont work for me you see, so if my application to the overseas unis get in it's going to be a waste. I've got two backup options though: SPH or their scholarship/financial aid plans. SPH is fine in general but it's going to delay my end-goal of being a researcher by 6 years, and I dont fancy journalistic writing anyway, and the 2nd option is rather an impossible one; nor would it be a holistic one, and I would have to cough up a neat sum myself.

So most likely it's going to be NUS, sweet and easy. Maybe not so sweet because I detest their decor but I guess you get used to that kind of things after time. There's still going to be the problem of funding my masters though. It wouldnt be advisable to do it at NUS for reasons of diversity and exposure, so I've got to somehow find the money to make it overseas. Money's always the issue.

USP would be a nice bonus but after a friend told me it would be a waste of time I gave it some thought and decided not to bother even trying for it. Perhaps it is army life that influenced my decision-- i miss my free time alot-- or perhaps the decision was the result of a year of accumulated desire to rest. Whatever it is, I am determined to make my uni experience as simple as possible. Im going to plan my classes as late in the morning as possible so that I can stay late into the night before, or better still, plan them such that I dont need to go school on thursday and/or friday so that I can stay later into the night. Alternatively, I can opt for a simpler lifestyle and sleep early every night so that I can read the papers over breakfast the morning after, but something tells me things can never be as simple as before.

Nada Surf- Inside of Love

I've been distanced so much from my music that most songs--even the ones I would usually frown at or treat with apathy-- achieve within me a sense of sublime pleasure that cannot be far from what heaven, in whatever form you take it be, is like.

More another time. Im going..up.

A levels

I guess I was lucky to have escaped the a levels paying such a light price for the lack of concentration in the final few weeks. Im not going to complain much. Then again, just that tiny bit of effort could have accomplished so much more. Fair enough then, I'll take this.

See you at nus, and you can interpret that in opposite ways.